At 35, I can’t help but reflect on the passage of time and wonder where it has all gone. Some of the most treasured memories I remember are from my teenage years. However, when I try to recall the years between the ages of five and 12, I struggle to do so, possibly due to the overwhelming presence of trauma during that time. It’s as if the trauma has purposefully been hidden from my hippocampus, making those years difficult to remember.
In the future, I may choose to share the finer details of that trauma with you. But for now, I want to delve into the myriad of experiences and lessons of the past 35 years. Growing up, when asked about my aspirations, I would express my desire to become a journalist. However, somewhere along the journey, I became convinced that pursuing a career in the healthcare industry was the only path to success. As fate would have it, I ultimately attained a Doctorate in Pharmacy at 27. This achievement was exceptional, considering that no one in my nuclear family had previously achieved a degree beyond a high school diploma.
That was my highest achievement yet. As I turned 35 today, I reflected on the question about my aspirations. This time, it is not in the context of a career but in the context of who I am. It has become apparent to me that I am bigger than my career. I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, an educator, and most importantly, a child of GOD. One day, I would like to be a full-time entrepreneur.
The profound reflections on my God-given 35-year journey have led me to contemplate the invaluable lessons I’ve learned. I appreciate the beauty of change and the transformative power it holds. My exploration has encompassed reading self-help books, immersing myself in diverse cultures through extensive travel, and absorbing knowledge from many lifestyle podcasts. Additionally, I’ve had the gratifying experience of creating my website, a platform for sharing my thoughts with you. All these experiences have coalesced into 35 significant realizations that I am eager to share. So, in no particular order, let’s dive in.
In the future, I may choose to share the finer details of that trauma with you. But for now, I want to delve into the myriad of experiences and lessons of the past 35 years. Growing up, when asked about my aspirations, I would express my desire to become a journalist. However, somewhere along the journey, I became convinced that pursuing a career in the healthcare industry was the only path to success. As fate would have it, I ultimately attained a Doctorate in Pharmacy at 27. This achievement was exceptional, considering that no one in my nuclear family had previously achieved a degree beyond a high school diploma.
That was my highest achievement yet. As I turned 35 today, I reflected on the question about my aspirations. This time, it is not in the context of a career but in the context of who I am. It has become apparent to me that I am bigger than my career. I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, an educator, and most importantly, a child of GOD. One day, I would like to be a full-time entrepreneur.
The profound reflections on my God-given 35-year journey have led me to contemplate the invaluable lessons I’ve learned. I appreciate the beauty of change and the transformative power it holds. My exploration has encompassed reading self-help books, immersing myself in diverse cultures through extensive travel, and absorbing knowledge from many lifestyle podcasts. Additionally, I’ve had the gratifying experience of creating my website, a platform for sharing my thoughts with you. All these experiences have coalesced into 35 significant realizations that I am eager to share. So, in no particular order, let’s dive in.
- God is good: At 35, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude and can’t overlook the incredible goodness of the Lord. The ways the Lord has intervened in my life transcend all conceivable expectations. This year, I made a deliberate decision to embark on the immersive experience of reading the Bible in chronological order. Currently, I find myself enraptured in the pages of the book of Esther, with the ambitious goal of completing this spiritual journey by December 31, 2024. God’s grace and mercy have been an ever-present force throughout this profound journey. Despite my inadequacies, the divine continues to extend His unwarranted kindness towards me. I am profoundly appreciative of this transformative and deeply enriching communion with God.
- Prayers work: I am currently experiencing the fruition of my past prayers. Making prayers my foundation’s cornerstone has been essential in all aspects of my life.
- God is the Center of Everything: Whenever I rely on God for help, all the puzzle pieces come together. He has consistently proven to be reliable and never once failed me.
- Life is Full of Struggles: Life is incomplete without a few bumps on the road. Reflecting on past struggles, I realize how they’ve shaped the person I am today. When facing life’s challenges, I’ve used them as stepping stones to propel myself forward rather than dwelling on the past.
- Positive Vibes: My aura is positive, and that’s all I expect. Please take your negative energy to a different place.
- Negative vibrations: No room for this! Period.
- Comparison is a Thief of Joy: Social media has turned many of us into constant comparers. The best thing you can do for yourself is to assess your present self, identify areas for improvement, and take action. Comparing yourself leads to unnecessary anxiety. Remember, the person you wish you were likely wishes they were you too.
- Reading is Great: Reading has been an incredibly transformative experience for me. It has broadened my horizons, deepened my understanding of the world, and enhanced my vocabulary in a way I never thought possible. Over the past four years, I’ve delved into more books than before, and the therapeutic nature of reading has been a source of great comfort for me. Most importantly, it has taught me the invaluable skill of being open-minded, allowing me to embrace diverse perspectives and ideas.
- Being Open-Minded: In today’s world, we often encounter extreme viewpoints that leave little room for alternative perspectives. Instead of clinging to rigid beliefs, it’s essential to open our hearts and minds to the ideas of others. We can broaden our thinking and gain valuable insights by listening and considering different viewpoints. I’ve learned from diverse individuals spanning various races, educational backgrounds, and age groups. A woman over a decade older than me is one of my sister- friends. She has profoundly impacted me in the last few years. Her wisdom has enriched my understanding of topics ranging from marriage to motherhood and everything in between. I would complain about different things, and she would bring me back to reality. Without opening my heart and mind, I wouldn’t have learned a thing from this remarkable woman.
- Being Intentional with Friends: When I refer to someone as a friend, it’s not just a casual label. I invest my heart and soul into my friendships, always going the extra mile to support and care for my friends. Their joys and sorrows are mine; we create a deep, empathetic bond. I’ve come to appreciate the significance of having a close-knit circle of friends who can intercede on my behalf, as mentioned in scripture. This community of trust and reciprocity is something I cherish deeply and never take for granted. It’s essential to be around people who are suitable for your soul.
- Being Kind to People: Princess Diana once said, “Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.” I believe no act of kindness will go to waste.
- Do not Judge Others: How many of us have found ourselves guilty of judging someone? I know I have! It’s a common tendency among many people. However, as I’ve grown older, I’ve made a conscious effort to extend more grace to others, just as I receive from the Lord.
- A Proper Diet is important: I’ve realized the significant impact of my past improper diets. Consuming meals late at night and immediately going to bed affected my well-being. As I’ve grown older, I’ve recognized that this lifestyle is unsustainable. I’ve consciously adjusted my eating schedule, ensuring I have my last meal by 7 pm daily.
- Drink Enough Water in a Day: In my quest to enhance my dietary habits, it is crucial to ensure I consume an adequate amount of water daily. As a result of this simple adjustment, I have personally experienced a noticeable improvement in my overall health. My skin has become noticeably radiant.
- Regular Exercise: The way I have been exercising lately, one would think I am preparing for a marathon. This change in my exercise routine is significant, especially considering my lack of physical activity before my 30s. I exercise five times weekly and enjoy long, leisurely weekend walks. Surprisingly, running is slowly evolving into a hobby that I genuinely enjoy. Taking that initial step into a more active lifestyle has opened up new possibilities, and I am amazed at how far I have come. Take that first step, and you will be surprised how far you will go.
- No Manual for Motherhood: The transformative journey of becoming a mother has been an incredibly eye-opening experience. I often yearn for a comprehensive manual that could guide me through the complexities of motherhood. Despite the absence of such a guide, I embrace the learning process, understanding that I am constantly evolving and learning from the mistakes I make each day. There are moments when I exude confidence in my role as a mother, but there are also days when I am overwhelmed by the lingering presence of haunting childhood memories. Sigh!
- Adulting: Wow, the struggles of adulting. There are no words, LOL. I can’t hang out after 9 pm these days.
- Being a Wife: Many young girls grow up dreaming of their perfect fairy tale marriage and envisioning their ideal spouse. I, on the other hand, feel like I stumbled into my marriage by chance. Through the grace of God, I am blessed with an extraordinary man. It’s like living out the prayers I uttered earlier. Being a wife is fulfilling, although I have moments of imperfection. But that’s just part of life.
- General Relationships: Turning 35 is a strange age. You might feel young enough to hit the clubs, but you no longer have that 20s energy. It’s natural to feel like you’re losing friends due to your inability to keep up. However, it’s important to remember that if a friendship or relationship is meant to be, it will be. Don’t stress yourself too much about it.
- The Grass is Not Always Greener: Water your grass regularly, and you will soon see it turn green.
- Being Too Nice: I have been reading the book “Not Nice” by Aziz Gazipura, which my friend recommended. As the author says in the book’s description: “If you find it hard to be assertive, directly ask what you want, or say “no” to others, then you might be suffering from too much niceness. On a scale of 1-10, I was likely a “9” before reading this book. Halfway through the book, I already felt like a different person. Being “too nice” and pleasing others is never great. You always end up hurting yourself for the good of others. I’ve been so proud of myself for speaking up lately, especially at work.
- Don’t be too Hard on Yourself: Give yourself some grace.
- Time is money and precious: As I grow older, I know that time stops for no one. I used to have a habit of being fashionably late to every event. I would often tell people I’d arrive at 9, only to show up 3 hours later. Now, I make it a point to be punctual, except in emergencies. I value my time, and I expect others to do the same.
- Success Has a Different Meaning: In my younger years, success meant making as much money as possible. I attribute this mindset to being brought up in a survival-of-the-fittest environment. However, as I’ve matured, I’ve realized that true success is having peace of mind, excellent health, a flexible schedule, ample quality time with my family, and the ability to explore new recipes from YouTube. While money is essential, it’s no longer my top priority.
- Budget: I have understood the importance of maintaining a budget since a young age. You will rarely find me spending on anything not included in my budget. It’s the only method I know and one of the best ways to help me achieve my financial objectives. If you need a budget worksheet, access my template by clicking here.
- Live below your means: Living below my means allows me to save or invest the extra money. It will benefit me, especially considering the uncertainty of retirement and potential unexpected expenses.
- Invest: One of the purposes of the Hammondslife blog was to educate people about the critical importance of investing. I’ve successfully taught hundreds of individuals how to invest, regardless of their background. Many of my clients, who initially did not know investing, have successfully built five—and six-figure portfolios under my guidance. If you’re new to this, sign up here to start learning.
- Use Debt as Leverage: I’ve learned that using debt wisely can create significant financial opportunities. Once I realized this, everything fell into place. I leveraged my credit card to do this and found my debit card pretty useless. I never pay credit card interest because it’s a good use of money. If your credit card costs you more interest fees than benefits, it’s better to let it go. When utilized judiciously, debt can be a potent instrument for accumulating wealth.
- Travel: The joy of travel is truly remarkable. Surprisingly, I didn’t board an airplane until I was 16. It’s been 19 years since that first flight from Accra-Ghana to New York City, and I’ve been fortunate to visit many countries since then. Travel is unique, and I recommend doing it as often as possible if you have the opportunity. If I could, I would plan a getaway every weekend, but mom duty calls – you know how it is!
- Learn to get rid of old items—get rid of those high school clothes! Declutter, declutter! If items are not needed, donate or sell them on platforms such as Facebook Marketplace. And remember, there are tax incentives when you donate.
- Sunscreen is Essential. I got sunburned last year during my trip to Ghana, so I promised myself that I would never leave the house without sunscreen. If you haven’t been doing this, it’s time to start.
- Yearly wellness exams are a Must. Remember this: Turning 30 requires you to prioritize your health. Regular annual physicals are non-negotiable, so don’t skip them. Given the current state of our food and health care system, it’s essential to visit my doctor for checkups. Don’t do yourself a disservice by neglecting this crucial aspect of your well-being.
- Therapy is Important: Last year, I began individual therapy sessions for the first time to address my childhood traumas, and I have found it to be incredibly rewarding. Overall, it has been a positive and beneficial experience for me.
- Live in the moment: I find it easier said than done to stop worrying about tomorrow. However, I’m learning to live in the moment through reading the Bible and various self-help books. After all, tomorrow isn’t even promised.
- Discernment: Individual boundaries can be challenging to define. Trusting your initial intuition is often the most accurate course of action.
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Cheers to a great year and beyond!